One Month Ago

On April 13th, one month ago today, Heaven gained an angel. It has taken me this long to blog about loosing my sweet and precious grandmother....Ninny, because it hurts and I am sad...not for her, but for me (and my Dad).  Previously, I had blogged that I knew when I last saw her in March that it was the last time I would be able to hold her hand, look into her eyes and tell her how much she means to me...and I am grateful that I had that chance to say goodbye.  But my goodbye was not forever.  I know 100% that I will see her again.  She is in Heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ, my grandfather, her sisters and her aunt whom she was also so close to. I know that she can walk again, her Parkinson's has disappeared, she can hear (oh my gosh, I can't imagine her hearing!), she can see with both eyes again, no more worries about insulin and blood sugar, or any other physical or health concerns!  I am incredibly happy for her!  I want to say that there will never be a better grandmother, another Ninny, another Jessie Marie Salzman...because my Ninny was one of a kind, always an angel to me, even here on Earth.  I love her so much and miss her everyday. 

For the funeral and services my Dad, step-mother and brother all flew into Baltimore from different parts of the country.  I picked them up and we drove to Columbia, PA.  My sweet father revisited some of his past and showed us where he grew up, the schools he went to, the store where he bought comic books, different places Ninny lived after he flew from the nest, where Ninny met my grandfather and where my grandfather worked for many years, and so many more places.  It was so wonderful to be able to share in that with him.

 

 

The wake was hard...Ninny did not look like herself and I thought that was going to freak me out, but instead it gave me great relief.  I knew the second I looked upon her shell of a body, that she was not there.  That was not her, and she was looking down on us from Heaven.   I met some sweet family members that I had never met before, including my dad's half-sister, her husband and her three grown children that are all just a few years younger than my dad.  Some of my dad's childhood friends he grew up with surprised him and came to pay their respects, as well as the daughter of Ninny's best friend (who had passed years ago).  After the wake we gather at the hotel with family to share stories and get to know each other some.

Here is the slideshow I put together:


Here is the eulogy I shared with others at the wake:

My heart is so full right now…with both sorrow, knowing that I will miss my Ninny, and in complete and utter joy for her.    I can’t even imagine the amazing welcoming she had at the gates of Heaven.  There were so many people waiting for her….and some have been waiting quite a long time.  Ninny was stubborn though, and she wasn’t leaving without a fight or two or three.  She experienced and overcame so many things in her life including her husband passing away way before his time and cancer….twice….

I am sure I can speak for Jason as well when I say this… Ninny was the most incredible grandmother one could ask for.  Not only was she that, but she was also one of my best friends.  I could tell her anything and she could do the same with me….we loved telling each other our secrets when we saw each other!  When I think of Ninny, I have such wonderful memories of her and the time we had together over all the years- I loved our sleep overs we had when I was younger and we would paint each other’s nails while having girl talk. I remember her sitting on the floor and playing My Little Ponies with me (she always had her favorite, Apple Jack) and dinosaurs with Jason for hours; reading books to Jason and I way past our bedtime…(shhh don’t tell my dad); taking the long walks to the Sunshine store on the corner and coming back with candy for Jason and I; carrying breadsticks from the Olive Garden in her purse for way too long; happy teeth; loving Denny’s breakfast; mixing wine and diet coke…on accident; loving the nickel slot machines in Vegas; she loved spending time on the beach; her favorite ride at Disney World was “It’s a Small World;” traipsing around Disney World-multiple times, Disney Land, Boston (including walking up Bunker Hill), Las Vegas, Nashville, and Washington DC all when she was in her 80s! She adored her old country music along with Patsy Cline and Gene Autry and I still remember her excitement when we visited the Grand Ole Opry and Nashville. 

I could go on….she was amazing…the best; she was greatly loved and I know without a single doubt how much she loved me because she never failed to tell me.  I am sad but I do not grieve with the world, I grieve with hope because I know that there will be a day that my Ninny will be waiting for me with open arms and it will be as if we were never separated.

The next day was the funeral and the graveside service.  The funeral was held in the church where she and my grandfather were married, where my dad was confirmed and where he was an alter boy growing up; it is an absolutely beautiful church.  The weather man said it was going to rain, but God decided to let the sun shine down on us to remind us to celebrate Ninny's long life. It was such a blessing.  Ninny was that ray of sunshine in many people's lives (most of whom passed away long before she did), including my own.  She was an amazingly strong woman, a loving and caring mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, friend, aunt, sister and niece. She was loved and will be remembered every day of my life.  I promise to continually talk about her and share stories about Ninny to my children to keep her memory alive in them as well.

May you rest in peace Jessie Salzman....You will always be loved and remembered.